“A father is someone that
Holds your hand at the fair
Makes sure you do what your mother says
Holds back your hair when you are sick
Brushes that hair when it is tangled because mother is too busy
Lets you eat ice cream for breakfast
But only when mother is away.
He walks you down the aisle
And tells u everything is gonna be Ok!”
A few days back, I watched the movie Father of the Bride (1991) once again. 😀 It is one of my all time favorite movies. The sweet bond between a father and his daughter is shown here in a perfect way, at least for me. They say, from the instant he lays eyes on her, he adores his daughter. Whoever she grows up to be, she is always that little girl in pigtails to him….. daddy’s lil’ girl. 🙂
When a child is born, a father is born. A mother is born, too of course, but at least for her it’s a gradual process. Body and soul, she has nine months to get used to what’s happening. She becomes what’s happening. But for even the best-prepared father, it happens all at once. On the other side of a plate-glass window, a nurse is holding up something roughly the size of a loaf of bread for him to see for the first time.
– Frederick Buechner in Whistling in the Dark
My Deuta (Dad) is a quiet man. He prefers to carry out his duties silently and all by himself, to the extent possible. He loves helping and cares for others, especially us and our extended family. Even though he never says it aloud, we know that he expects the same kind of care and love. Raising 3 daughters and giving them Convent (expensive) education, in the meager salary of a state government employee had never been easy for him, marriages and other festivities aside. But he never failed us. He used to tell us, “You cannot expect everything to be at your foot the moment you ask for it. You have to wait and you might as well get it”. This has made us value things we get and that everything, be it a piece of new eraser or a pair of new shoes, has a value. He always gave us practical lessons on life and always taught us the importance of family ties. From our early days of childhood, he made it clear to us that he cannot run around for every small thing for each one of us and so we should learn to do most of our work ourselves. When many of our friends used to be dropped at tuition classes, etc. by their dads or moms, I and my sisters rode cycles. Those were his early lessons on life and on being independent women. And this is helping me today to face the big bad world with courage & confidence.
Deuta has limitless faith in God and believes in Karma, that what goes around comes around. Even during our hard times, he never lost his faith on the Almighty. For him, every problem has a solution.
In our family, we do not indulge in openly displaying our affection towards each other. But now, with an empty nest, things have changed for both Maa and Deuta. Deuta does not talk much to us over phone, except the important things. But then he pesters Maa to call us if we don’t call them. 😛 Normally it’s the mothers who take up the job of worrying, but in our case it is our Deuta as well!!
I remember those days when Maa used to be not home, either visiting someone at our ancestral home or her own parents. Those were our days of indulgence. Deuta used to take the three of us for a ride in his Bajaj scooter. He indulged us with roadside channa, icecream, chips, etc. which Maa normally did not allow us to have as kids. For dinner he used to cook all sorts of mixed daal or mixed vegetables with lots of Paanchpooran (an Indian spice mix):P. How we three sisters loved those meals! We cherish the memories of those days when he also took us out in his scooter to watch Independence Day, Republic Day, Viswakarma Puja at the Railway workshop, , Dashami, etc. I now realize, those were days of innocent joy and pure bliss. 😀
I dedicate this post to my Deuta and all the other Dads of the world. I just want to say to my Deuta that even though I am not home with you and Maa, there is not a single day that I do not think about you two.
For a girl, her Dad is very special as with this relationship she frames her first idea of a man. She looks after, nurture and mend what’s not right, and they love their “Daddy” the most in the world, he is the first guy they fall in love with and that beautiful love carries on for the rest of their lives.
For the three of us, Deuta, you can climb the highest mountain and protect us from all the monsters, and that’s because only “MY DADDY’S STRONGEST” 😀
I and my sisters are lucky and blessed to be your daughters. We pray to the Almighty that we are born as daughters to both you and Maa for many more lives.
I do not say it often, but I LOVE YOU ….